What to do if someone dies

How to Write a Eulogy

A loved one’s passing is a time of reflection and at this time of deep emotion it is not an easy task to sit down with pen in hand and write a Eulogy, or in other words a Tribute to a Loved One, but is something to be accomplished with pride in celebration of their life.

We would not presume to advise who is the best person suited to write and read a Eulogy (Tribute), or the best way to undertake the task, which is very much a matter of personal judgement. Every relationship within, and outside a family is special, with everyone who knew the Loved One possessing their own memories.

It is usual for a close relative or, family friend to write and read the Eulogy (Tribute) before those gathered together to pay their last respects.

However, if the family agree, it is not unusual to provide the Priest or Minister with an outline of the Loved One’s life to enable them to undertake and carry out this important task.
There are established guide lines for writing a Eulogy (Tribute), but we have said this remains a very personal matter.
One must remember that you are writing a word picture of a persons life that must be immediately recognisable by family and friends.

To mention and encompass the early part of a Loved One's life, people important to them, wife, husband or partner, and of course their children and others. To recall their school days, good times, fun times and perhaps a little of the sorrow they may have experienced.

To record their achievements and special talents, that may not have been commonly known, hobbies and important dates and periods in their life. Again remember you are writing with love in celebration, and whilst this is a time of deep grief, try to be mindful of what the person would want you to say. Perhaps write with a little humour of funny things that have happened to the person, which may have involved, or have been shared by persons present.

The family may decide that a formal Eulogy is not appropriate and the Tribute should be a reading of the Loved Ones favourite Poem, or Passage from the Bible or Sacred book. We have said that this is a personal matter and there is no right or wrong way to pay Tribute to a Loved One, only your way.

While giving the speech during the funeral service, remember to relax and breathe normally. Remember, no one will be judging you; they are all there to honour your loved one. Pay attention to the speed that you are speaking. We tend to speed up when we’re nervous so take it at a normal speaking pace. It’s good to add pauses to collect your thoughts or provide time for the audience to digest your information. You can even jot down places to break on your notes in case you forget to pause.

Always take a second copy of your speech and provide it to a backup speaker in case you can’t continue. It is common to get emotional during delivery. You may have to quit speaking to comfort someone or just may not be able to continue yourself. People will understand, this happens all the time at funerals. Having a backup will ensure that your speech will be delivered if you cannot finish. If you start to feel nervous, imagine that you just speaking to your loved one. This can help take the pressure off.